from uncle garabed's notebook

By C.K.Garabed

"The Armenian Weekly", 2007 Year End Special Issue, Volume 73, No. 51-52, December 22-29, 2007

Our Boys

Janissaries or Janizaries: (Turk. Yeni-cheri, new corps). A celebrated militia of the Ottoman Empire, raised by Orchan in 1326; originally, and for some centuries, compulsorily recruited from the Christian subjects of the Sultan. It was blessed by Haji Bektash, a saint, who cut off a sleeve of his fur mantle and gave it to the captain. The captain put the sleeve on his head, and from this circumstance arose the fur cap worn by these foot-guards. In 1826, having become too formidable to the state, they were abolished after a massacre in which many thousands of the Janissaries perished.

Eminent Cosmologists

Nature, and Nature’s laws, lay hid in night,

God said, Let Newton be! and all was light.

ALEXANDER POPE

It did not last: the Devil howling Ho,

Let Einstein be, restored the status quo.

J.C. SQUIRE

The Turban and the Robe

A villager came to Nasreddin Khoja and asked him to read to him a letter he had received from a friend. Khoja took one look at the letter and said, “The handwriting is terrible; I can’t read it.” The villager persisted and each time Khoja demurred. Finally, the villager angrily exclaimed, “You are wearing a huge robe and turban, and can’t even read a letter!

Khoja removed his robe and turban and offered them to the villager, saying, “If that’s all it takes to read a letter, take them and read it yourself.”

From the Trivia File

The marvelous knowledge Napoleon had of London used to greatly astonish the Englishmen with whom he would come in contact, for it was not known he had ever resided in England. It appears, however, that Bonaparte was in London for five weeks in 1791 or 1792; he lodged at a house in George St. Adelphi, and passed much of his time walking through the streets of the metropolis.

Pavlov’s Cousin

Young white rat: What’s this Dr. Hakimian like?

Old white rat: Oh, he’s very bright. Whenever I ring the bell, he immediately brings my dinner.

Greater Expectations

Little Ani was helping her mother serve the dessert. She gave the first dish of gatnabour to her father, who offered it to the guest on his right. Returning with another dish and seeing that her father had none, she served him again. He in turn handed it on to his left.

When Ani came in with the third dish, she placed it in front of her father and said, “Hairig, you might as well keep this one. They’re all alike.”

Chinese Proverb

Virtue practiced to be seen is not real virtue; vice which fears to be seen is real vice.

The Armenian Connection

Jean-Jacques Rousseau, in his Confessions, Book Twelve · 1762, writes as follows:

A little while after I had settled in at Motiers-Travers, having received every possible assurance that I should be left in peace, I assumed Armenian costume. It was not a new idea, but had occurred to me several times in the course of my life. It recurred to me often at Montmorency, where my frequent recourse to catheters, which often compelled me to keep to my room, made me see the advantage of a long robe. I was tempted to avail myself of the opportunity offered by an Armenian tailor, who often came to Montmorency to visit a relative. Indeed I should have assumed my new dress in spite of what people might say, for about that I cared very little. However, before doing so, I wanted Mme de Luxembourg’s opinion, and she advised me strongly in favor of the change. So I had a little Armenian outfit made. But the storm it raised caused me to defer wearing it until calmer times, and it was not until some months later that, forced by more attacks to have fresh recourse to catheters, I felt I could safely wear my new clothing at Motiers, especially after I had consulted the pastor of the place, who told me I could wear it even in church without offence. I put on the jacket, the caftan, the fur cap and the belt therefore; and after having attended divine service in this costume I saw nothing wrong in wearing it at my Lord Marshal’s. When His Excellency saw my attire he greeted me quite simply with Salamalecki,* which concluded the matter, and I never wore any other dress.

*Peace be with you (Arabic)

What’s in a Name?

Kanayan: Turkish in derivation, identified as a descriptive term, kan is defined as blood. From Khudaverdi in the Lake Urmia region came 5 brothers to Igdir. They were a rough crowd, and became land barons; then became respectable. (As told to U.G. by Mardig Kanayan, son of General Dro.)